


A Conversation with Burden

by InvincibleRodent



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Demonic Possession, Demons, Despair Demons (Dragon Age), Dialogue-Only, Gen, M/M, Mental Coercion, Minor Dorian Pavus/Male Trevelyan, Stream of Consciousness, post-Adamant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7713601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvincibleRodent/pseuds/InvincibleRodent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"So why would you fight so ardently for them?"</i><br/>"I… I don’t know."<br/>"You don’t know?"<br/>"I don’t. I don’t know why."</p><p>Cross-posting from tumblr; a short piece in which the (non-mage, untrained) Inquisitor, following the events at Adamant, encounters a Despair demon, Burden, in a dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Conversation with Burden

**Author's Note:**

> The bolded ones are the lines spoken by the Inquisitor (relatively vague, name only mentioned once), and the italics are the lines spoken by the demon.

**What manner of demon even are you? You’re not Fear, or Pride… nor are you Desire.**

_I am Burden. I am Regret, I am Grief, and Loneliness, and Betrayal… I am the ghost of all you have lost, and all that was taken from you. You have met Fear, you have met Desire, and you have fought the both of them… I can tell. Even now, you are coiled to strike. But you do not have to fight me, child; I do not wish to hurt you._

**You’re Despair.**

_Yes. I am the one who carries your world on my shoulders. I hold all that pains you, all that they demand from you, in my palms. I could take it all away, dear one. Aren’t you tired? Don’t you feel like your arms are failing, your heart, your resolve faltering? All the guilt, all the pressure… you try to drown them, but the bastards leave you to be the one sinking, don’t they. And they scream… all the times you weren’t strong enough, all the corpses you have stepped over to save your own hide, they all scream, and you try to cover your ears, but they only get louder, and louder, and louder. I could take it all from you; make you yourself again. Wouldn’t you like that? To let me carry it all for you, and be free from Burden?_

**No… no, you’re a demon, I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t be speaking to you. This is a lie.**

_Look around, pet. Right now, you are safe, and peaceful, and free, in here, with me. Right now, you are empty, floating, light. Isn’t it lovely? Wouldn’t you like to stay like this forever?_

**No… No, I must go back, I–**

_What for? All they’ve done is use you, abuse you, demand more, and more, and more from you. You are tired, and fragile, and wounded, and yet, all they want is more, and more, and more. Isn’t it exhausting? To sacrifice so much, to give so much, and not receive even a word of thanks?_

**It is, but it’s my duty–**

_Ah. But even that duty was given to you by circumstance, was it not? It was never your decision, nor was it the Maker’s. You never had any choice, for an offer that cannot be rejected is not a choice, but an order. Cassandra had used you, the Inquisition used you, and it was all because an old woman, an old, ignorant woman wanted to play the hero one last time, to ease the guilt blooming in her own heart._

**Divine Justinia saved my life.**

_She saved you, but hers was no sacrifice- death was her salvation, and you now bear the burden that she shook off. And to think that all you wanted to do was save her… How selfish people have been with you. Every single one of them, all they’ve ever done was hide, cower in your shadow, like sniveling maggots. Why would you still want to defend them?_

**Because… I…**

_If you stay here with me, I can make it all go away. I can make all your pain, all your suffering, all of it disappear… I can make you happy again, dear Raymond._

**I _am_ happy.**

_And what is it that makes you happy?_

**I… I have my friends, I have…**

_Your lover? Dorian. Oh, but of course… the man in your arms, the man you paint in golds and reds, the man who refuses to tell you he loves you._

**He loves me. I love him.**

_Does he really? Does he truly want you, **know** you? How do you know he’s not merely humoring you, enjoying the attention, the adoration that you so freely give? He never said otherwise, not in a language you would understand._

**…**

_Your silence is all the answer I need, dear one. They all want something from you, they all want to change you, they all want a mask- what makes you think he would be so different? How could he be so different from all the ones who changed you, hurt you, ignored you until you were exactly the way they had imagined you to be. Your mother, your father… even your precious sister. None have loved you for the man you are, all they’ve ever loved was the man they thought you were. So why would you fight so ardently for them?_

**I… I don’t know.**

_You don’t know?_

**I don’t. I don’t know why.**

_Then why do you hang so tightly onto the mask you had built? You can be your naked self here. Free from it all, all the expectations, all the guilt, and worry, and insecurity. I can take away the pain you have balled up inside you. All that is hurting you, all that makes you despair… it will all be my burden to bear, and you will be free, here, with me, forever. Will you let me?_

**I will.**

_Your pain, your guilt, your burden? All of it? I can have it all?_

**Yes, you can.**

_Come here then, my child. It will all be over soon._

**Author's Note:**

> And then Dorian showed up in the dream, blasted the demon back into whichever circle of hell it had crawled out of, and dragged the Inquisitor back out; swearing profusely all the way about why of _course_ , it had to be the most nonsensical, most asinine, bald-faced lie he had to fall for. The end.
> 
> I have a [a tumblr](http://www.weresquirrel.tumblr.com) , in case anyone is interested! :) Prompts and feedback are always welcome. <3


End file.
